He knew I lived on the second floor
in a small closet apartment on West 116th Street
that night
I opened my door and ushered him in.
kindness worn with the flash of large
gold chains
encrusted with diamond-like naivety.
It felt familiar and so did he
And I thought I knew him.
But I couldn’t have known him
I grew up with five brothers in a Detroit bungalow
Where I learned that some men aren’t kind like
my brothers
They take what they want and tell you that you
wanted it in one smooth motion
This man, I let into my home
used manipulation
Like baseball cards from the ’80s
And gaslighting was his MVP pick.
I knew better.
I thought I knew better.
I thought I knew him but that night, I learned
That my female body was never human to
some.
That my female body belonged to him because
to be a woman is to be a
A trinket
A trophy
A toy
That night I gave him shelter
Because he said he was in need
And I
I should have listened to my gut
I should have created better boundaries
I should have
I could have
I wish I could have wished myself back to that
Warm urban bungalow in Detroit
With my brothers
Because West 116th Street at the far end
where the Starbucks on the corner
touches Clifton
in this Cleveland neighborhood
Doesn’t feel like Home
The last bit of love I had for Cleveland died that
night
In that neighborhood on West 116th Street
In my small closet apartment
As he held my wrists as tightly as this
neighborhood grips my lungs
making it harder and harder for me to
breathe
Michelle Sanders is a Detroit native who has been living in Cleveland for nine years. Professionally, she works as a Technical Fashion Designer for a local company within the city. In her free time, she writes and creates art that examines ethnicity, trauma, and introspection.
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